Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

I imagine writer-director Luc Besson envisioned Valerian and The City of a Thousand Planets as the glorious offspring of Avatar and his own The Fifth Element, but something awful happened on the way to the final cut. The finished product is a hideous, overblown mess of cartoony cheesiness that may well be the offspring of something, […]

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Rough Night

Remember Bridesmaids? Director Paul Feig’s hilarious and smart 2011 comedy with Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, and Maya Rudolph pulled in almost $300 million worldwide and currently enjoys a 90% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It was the perfect response to the bro-tastic The Hangover, proving that women can be just as debauched and […]

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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Director Guy Ritchie arrived on the scene with a literal bang almost twenty years ago, following up 1998’s now-classic Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels with the even-better Snatch in 2000. Blending his distinctive jump-cut, fast-paced style with ultra-violence and some of moviedom’s more colorful characters, Ritchie established himself as […]

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The Space Between Us

Originally set for release on July 29, 2016, The Space Between Us was then delayed until August 19. And then to December 16. And now it’s finally hitting theaters in February 2017. If you’re thinking that’s not a good sign, you’d be right. More often than not a studio only […]

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Passengers

Note: I suppose one could argue this review contains a significant plot spoiler, so proceed with caution. Before I published, out of curiosity I looked through several other reviews to see how it was handled, and more often than not critics DO mention the particular plot point in question. But […]

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Ice Age: Collision Course

Submitted for your approval: a new category for The Razzies– Most Annoying/Tiresome Character. And I loudly nominate this year’s inaugural winner to be Scrat, the god-awful animated squirrel in Blue Sky Studios’ Ice Age: Collision Course. He can also be retroactively be awarded the prize for his appearance in 2012’s […]

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The Boss

In this weekend’s other new release, Demolition, Jake Gyllenhaal’s character runs across a particularly profane young teenager and gives him a warning– if you’re profane incorrectly or for the wrong reasons, it just makes you look stupid, and it has zero impact. Welcome to The Boss. Melissa McCarthy’s latest is […]

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Secret in Their Eyes

Back in June, Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig turned heads with their appearance in Lifetime’s A Deadly Adoption— two A-list stars “lowering” themselves (with a wink and a nod) to take part in a supremely schlocky movie. It’s safe to say Oscar winners Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts and Oscar […]

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Love the Coopers

Because heaven knows what we need right now is another Christmas movie about a dysfunctional family that, just because it’s Christmas, puts all its issues aside and comes together in the end. I know… cynical, right? Grinchy? Sure. But, heck, if Love the Coopers was anywhere near decent, recycling the […]

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A Walk in the Woods

Here’s the scene: Two men in their 70s are attempting to hike the Appalachian Trail. When they reach a river crossing, they pause for a moment to contemplate their predicament. As they wait, a pair of sprightly young men bound along and proceed to hop across the river, no problem. […]

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